Porn vs War

Warning #1: This post may change the image you have for me, but it shouldn’t. Humor, in all of its instances, is a sign of a healthy mind.
Warning #2: If you aren’t comfortable reading about porn and despicable sex acts, please, do not read any further!

I’ve given a fair amount of thought in this post’s subject. What are the differences between war and porn, if any? Actually there are many. I won’t tire you with a long prologue, here are some of the differences I’ve found. If you can think of any more, post them!

• Warlords come and conquer. Porn stars conquer and cum.
• In war they provide you with a gun. In porn you come with your own.
• In porn the enemy helps you get a headshot.
• You can make war in the dark.
• In porn you try to look good in the camera. In war you don’t want to look good.
• In war everyone hates assholes. In porn everyone licks them.
• In war women are spared. In porn there is no mercy for them.
• In the army you shave your face. In the porn industry your genitals.
• In war privates doesn’t get much publicity. In porn it is all about privates.
• In war the enemy tries to avoid your load. In porn she tries to swallow it.
• In porn you can’t wait to stand in front of enemy’s canons.
• In porn the other side easily turns their backs on you.
• In porn your enemy may ask you to violate her human rights.
• In porn pain can be an aphrodisiac.
• In porn you don’t see many helmets.
• In porn 2 vs 1 is fair.
• In war impalement is used as capital punishment.
• In war you don’t want many opened fronts.

I may or may not update it in the future!

PS. Since I feel good about this, here is a photo for your viewing pleasure.